ARTICLE – Review of “50 Shades of Grey”
The Huffington Post reported that EL Jame's "Fifty Shades" trilogy has outsold JK Rowling's seven-book Harry Potter series on Amazon's UK site. James has been named the best-selling author of all time at Amazon.co.uk selling over 40,000,000 copies of her book "50 Shades of Grey" since March. It is the fastest selling paperback of all time.
It is hard to deny that we love and will spend money on fantasy, whether porn or Potter. This book has been called "Mommy porn" as the fanbase is being composed largely of married women over 30. Hmmm…
Will this improve women's sexual lives? The disturbing and poorly written details would be worth it, if that were the outcome.
I have always found graphic descriptions of sexual encounters to be arousing in my body. My first sexual feelings, that I remember, came from reading "racy" stories in magazines I use to hide under my mattress.
Sex and what arouses a woman is unique to her. The scenes in "50 Shades…" that created a positive visceral experience for me were when the two main characters expressed love and compassion for each other. Sex, without compassion, is the lowest form of relationship in my book.
The nature of the dominant/submissive aspect created a visceral feeling of anger welling up inside of me. The admitted need to control and bark orders which created pain along with the pleasure was where I felt very disturbed that this book was creating such a stir with women. Is it just a deep awakening we desire, which sometimes includes pain?
This idea of submission has made its way into new marriage vows approved in Australia where brides are promising to "submit" to their husbands as well as "obey" them. Even as I write this I am feeling the unease of this thought.
Before I explain what I believe may be beneficial about the book, I need to comment on the fantasy man syndrome. The main character, Christian Grey, was the image of the sexiest, richest, smartest and most talented man this side of the North Pole. I want us all to find a way to look past surface glamour, and find the true soul. It is not always easy. I fail in this endeavor often.
I found three redeeming thoughts from this odd book.
A sexual relationship requires deep communication. Because of the provocative nature of the sexual requests in this story, communication was repeatedly stressed as necessary…verbal communicaton speaking your deep truth. We can all learn from this.
There was also a consciousness about choosing to enter into the relationship because of the extreme nature of the sexual demands. Conscious choosing is a key factor in creating any life you desire.
My final positive take away from this book is the encouragement of receptivity. The heroine was showered with gifts which she resisted, until she didn't. There was an air of giving and receiving that took into account value on both sides. It felt natural, until it went over the edge of kinkiness for me.
BEing the conscious optimist that I am, I invite you to reflect on your own relationships and see where you could:
- communicate your deep truth
- be acutely conscious of your choices
- give and take with love
There is wisdom in all things. It is up to us to find it.