What gets in the way of us truly seeing our inner beauty and sexuality? You guessed it…the BS Gremlins. Those voices inside us that are referred to as BS (beauty and sexuality) Gremlins. After the media blitzes unreal images toward us, then we fall back into our inner voices to guide us on how we feel about ourselves. Fitness trainer, Marci Lock, says that 80% of what we believe is what we are telling ourselves. In addition, according to a study commissioned by Dove, only 4% of women in the world find themselves beautiful, and only half that number (a dismal 2%) were comfortable describing themselves as beautiful. Maybe taking a closer look at the role of the Gremlins might shed some light on how we can step into those BEautiful bodies, minds and spirits we are.
What is so compelling about Richard Carsen's approach is that it is so SIMPLE. He has a 3-step process to tame your gremlin. The first step is to notice what your gremlin is saying. The second step is to play with options for working with the inner voices. And the third and final step is to be patient with yourself. That is one pretty simple formula, AND he has had great success with all types of people from different settings.
Another interesting story about how we love to beat ourselves up is from my friend who was writing a book about the impact of all the phrases we were told as children. He put a call out for the negative phrases that we were told, and the responses just flooded in and he finally had to cut it off. Then he put out a call for the positive phrases and the responses just trickled in. His first working title for the book was "No Wonder We Suck!"
We hear these phrases as children and then they become part of our own inner critic's voice droning on about where we just don't have it together. This keeps us from experiencing pleasure and BEing powerful. It is all just a bunch of BS we are making up in our heads. Imagine that for a moment!
A good study of your Gremlins can be life changing.
The BS Gremlins are there to interfere with your pleasure. A woman who is in touch with her beauty and sexuality is one who has made peace with the BS Gremlins. My formula to cut through to the pleasure is:
1) Notice when and where your inner voice wants to sabotage your joy – those times when life is feeling so good and you bring yourself to a place of worry or concern because it feels too good. It happens more than you might think!
2) Speak, write and take thoughtful action on what you notice. Where did this belief come from? Is it true? How is it serving me to have this thought?
3) Affirm that you deserve the best (we all do), and know when you are feeling positive and alive, you can contribute the best of you to every activity in your life.
The final step is to stand up, open your heart, hold your head high, and breathe deep into that luscious and juicy belly!